Planning and the Homeschool group party

I have found a wonderful group of homeschool families in my area. I am very grateful for it. Last fall we did park days and got to know each other. There are many kids around my kids age, older and younger than them. We don't have as many that are MUCH older than my kids, which is too bad, but the group we know is great.

Last fall we had a Halloween party, which was great fun, if a bit chaotic. Last Friday we had our Valentine's Day party. We had 8 families and more than 20 kids. It was chaos. There were crafts, but they were loosely organized (I admit, I didn't want to sit at the table for the craft I brought, so it was often abandoned). There were games, but they were games the kids sort of played on their own (board games, etc.). There were cupcakes to decorate, but that, too was a bit chaotic. There were Valentine's cards exchanged. That was mass confusion. I know that not every child got a card from us, because I came home with more than I should have. We let the kids basically wander about and give out cards.

I am not much of a planner. I tend to go with the flow. But this party was a little crazy even for me! I don't know how to make it better, and I am afraid that if we don't do something, all of our future parties will follow the pattern of this one, or get progressively worse. Yes, it was fun. But I was not the only one feeling a bit, well, wonky, about the whole thing.

So, how do you organize parties for your group? Any tips or pointers? Thanks!